Sicko
April 12, 2008 by ulysiregar
(My husband is in Utah, and Alana is sleeping. No one to play with, so I write my blog on Saturday afternoon. Sooo pathetic!)
Did you know that some women can really be mean? Beyond mean. Even sicko.
So I read a posting about an Indonesian lady who cried her heart out (more like really-really pissed off!). Apparently, her friend (whom she’s been friend for 5 years) talked dirty about her, made up story about lots of lots mean things, from telling her that she’s fat to small silly stuff like the importance of having brand name purses and heels (borrowed, bought from boutique or eBay, or whatever). She hurt so badly, so she talked back openly on her blog. I was stunned. Because from what she wrote and commented, that lady (who talked bad and told lies) was really sick. Why on earth would someone pay $19 web service just to find infos about people she barely knows and has no business with? She wants to know about how much other people houses’ worth and the location, how much their debts, are their cars used or new? Are the houses under in-laws names? What other women’s husbands do for living? And those kinds of information. I can understand if she is investigating some guy she is going to marry, but if the details are used to reassure herself that no (Indonesian) ladies are better than her, that lady is just extremely nosy. Or has too much time in her hands.
I am a victim myself. In the beginning of my US residence, I met this lady (different Indonesian lady!). We were friends for a couple of months or so. She was pissed off because I accidentally replied her forwarded joke to everyone on her address list (which she put on cc instead of bcc). Apparently she knew nothing about how email worked, so she accused me for stealing her contacts, and got really mad at me. “How did you get my friends’ email address? Did you steal them??” I told her I was sorry, and promised her I wouldn’t ever-ever “reply to everyone” again. Also, I explained her about “cc” and “bcc”. But my, this girl just didn’t stop. She needed to tell me that her English teacher and her husband said I had no etiquette. She even forwarded email from her English teacher (which I was wondering, she’d been 5 years in Arizona with an English teacher, but she couldn’t even spell right or put words in a perfect sense! Guess that English teacher was useless). In short, she kept pushing my button. So I fired back (oh, yeah, I am capable to write in a very polite way but my saying would numb you!). And guess what, she went nuts! So she spread stories all over Arizona, the tale about Uly. She even bumped into strangers (Indonesians) in Asian market and said, “You know Uly? If not, I warn you, she’s a horrible person!” How sicko is that?!
I ignored her. I blocked her email address, her Friendster, and just isolated myself from Indonesian communities. I was too shocked, and I had no interest to make friends. It was very depressing. I was new in Arizona, pregnant, and homesick. And for God’s sake, why did I have to meet this sicko?! WHY?!
Until one day, I finally put on brave face, and got together with some Indonesian ladies. There I heard the real story. That sicko lady actually sent 6-page email to everyone about Uly. One of my friend said, “You want to read? That’s really nasty stuff she said. I still keep the email if you want to read.” I told her I didn’t want to read. Because I did’t want to waste my energy on ridiculous stuff. But I couldn’t help but notice some stuff she wrote because all the ladies gave me almost full report. I was actually mad, but now when I recall, I really have a good laugh. Here is stuff she wrote:
“Uly smells.”
Hahaha… I don’t recall we were that close to let her smell my natural scent. I mean, my husband sometimes tells me I stink. Especially when I fart. He says, “Did you just fart?” And for some reason I always say, “How did you know?” And he runs away from me and screams, “Because you stink!!” Hahaha… I fart in front of my husband, because it’s him. I have nothing to hide. But I don’t think I ever had body odor problem. Oh, yeah, when I don’t take a shower and I don’t put deodorant I have body odor (who doesn’t?). My husband teases me, “Honey, you smell like a man!” But not when I go out. I don’t think any man would have hit on me if I had problem with body odor. Maybe I didn’t put on perfume when I was with her. So what? I didn’t want to waste my money on her! But stinky? No way!
“Uly doesn’t wear make up. She doesn’t know how to dress. I cannot believe her husband wants to stay with her.”
This is hilarious. Now, why did I want to dress up and put make up just to hang out with her? We went to mall once, to Asian market, or stayed at her house. Duuuuh….. Besides, a pretty girl doesn’t really need make up. I mean, even with her make up and sexy clothing, she was not attractive. And God knows how many guys are attracted to me, even though I don’t know how to put make up! And did it cross her mind that my husband loves me for who I am? Because I’m funny, well-educated… and also very much fuckable? (take that!)
“If it’s not for my Cadillac, Uly never experienced riding a fancy car.”
Ouch… it’s not even important. She took me to Asian market on her new car, and I was jokingly say, “Ooh… we’re driving a fancy car!!! Wow..”
And look what I got into. Hahaha…
“Uly can only eat good at my house. She has to come long way just to eat good food.”
This might be true. Because she invited me, and I was really new to cooking. It was heaven to find a friend who cooked Indonesian meals. But I learned my lesson. When someone invites you over for Indonesian meal, don’t be too excited. Skip it. And don’t ever take leftover home because you feel bad for refusing her “kindness”. You think you are being nice. You’re thinking, “Just take the leftover then throw in the garbage.” But then the story would come out, “Uly desperately wants good food, she takes leftover all the time!”
There are lots of mean stuff she wrote (6 pages!), all ridiculous stuff that I cannot imagine someone is able do that to another human being. But that happened. And I’m glad I found out earlier. At least I didn’t stay friends with her for more than two months. THANK GOD!
This is why I keep telling myself, how I miss my friend in Indonesia. But let’s move on. It’s not gonna happen. There’s no way I can find girl friends like Upit, Opi, Nayu, Ika, Anna… It’s just impossible. Those qualities they have, just very rare. And I think I’m done looking.
(continued)
So totally agree with you Uly, I miss my girlfriends in LA so much, I can never meet anyone like them here in ATL.
Uly…I was so proud to tell you before that I’ve never met a sicko here….ternyata…itu orang lebih sicko dari semua sicko…..
Kok ada orang kayak gitu ya… hahaha… tinggal ketawa aja say. People know siapa yang bener siapa yang aneh.. hihihi
Yeah, good friends are hard to find
Wow… I read it out loud to my husband… We’ve had some experience with this type of manipulative psycho… and doesn’t matter the gender, age, financial, education background whatever… they are sick. But as much as there are sickos out there… there are also plenty of good honest reliable people.. Only time can tell and I hope you find some true friends on your path….
(I am still a positive person)
At least now you can see the experience with a slightly - twisted - humor… hehhehe
Euw! That bitch IS SICK. Stay away from her and yes, just ignore her. I hope you never ever have to deal with that bitch. But it can be hard as you are all in Indonesian community and homesickness can be minimised by having a get-together with other Indonesian people. You know what… don’t isolate yourself. Just turn up in the get-together if you’re invited and if you feel like and just be yourself. You’re a good person so let everyone see that. And huh? You smell? Really? Hahahaaaaa… no you don’t smell… i never smell any smell from you. Whenever I hung out with you at Unpar, gave you a lift at the end of the day, I’ve never ever smelled any smell of yours. That bitch must be halucinating! She must be taking drugs.
@Novee: temenan ma gue kejauhan ya, Nov??
@Vevy: Let’s move on. You’re lucky you have a very good friend there. I have none here. Hiks..
@Cindy: I still cannot understand either. But yeah, the truth will always be found…
@Lily: Same experience? Wow.. what’s with these people???!!! It’s hard for me to have positive thinking, but you know what, I just try not to expect too much from what so-called “friendship” here. Just be very cautious. That saves me from heartache.
@Hahaha… maybe her nose is too close to her potty mouth! Damn, I’m mean.. Sorry. Anyway, talking about “never experienced riding fancy car” with us attending Unpar? And you, as one of the “mercedez gal”! And even my old dad owned one of those ‘ga penting’ fancy car! Huahahaha.. I cannot believe this kind of girl was once in my circle of friends!! Soooo “not us” type.
Ly, gue juga pernah punya pengalaman ama perempuan pscho dan gak tau diri kayak gitu. Bukan maksud gimana, but she’s so out of my league (kalo loe kenal orangnya pasti loe ngerti, Opi yang tau tu orang juga bilang dia harus ngaca:p). Out of the bkue, si suaminya yang dulu masih pacaran marah2 ama gue karena katanya menurut di cewe itu gue neror via sms karena mnenurut dia gue gak rela temen gue kawin ama tu cewe. Gua tanya, nomornya nomor gue bukan, dengan begonya dia bilang bukan. Trus tu cewee nyebar cerita aneh aneh, as if gue mau ngerebut lakinya. Duh Ulu..padahal tu laki (kalo loe tau) duuuh kaca juga musuhan kali ama tu orang (nasty me…). Trus tu cewe juga, ya ampyuuuun, Opi bilang so out of my league. Biarin aja Ly ama orang gila kayak gitu. seperti reno bilang : yang waras ngalah
@Inka: gue inget sih yg elo ceritain ini. Tapi lupa mahluknya sapa. Hihihi… Ember, kalau ketemu orang kayak gini, kalau kita ikut2an gila jadinya rugiiiii berat. Ga kelas banget.
Hi Uly, can’t help but replying to your blog. It’s sad really that there are so many sick people out there and what annoys me the most when I think about that other sicko person was I thought she really cared, I was foolish to trusted her. She was too smooth and this makes me kinda put my guard even higher nowadays. I keep telling myself what doesn’t kill me will only makes me stronger LOL. I hope you’ll find better friends out there Uly. Take care!
salam kenal mba uli. kalo saya boleh ikutan komen, mbak ambil hikmahnya aja. saya jg pernah ngalamin. lucu jg org2 seperti ini lbh ketauan kelakuannya begitu mereka “singled out” dan jauh dari negeri sendiri. mgkn desperation utk disukai org2 bule bikin mereka ’sadis’ ma their fellow indonesians.