My Being American (2)
September 5, 2006 by ulysiregar
I love my full name: Ester Retta Uly Siregar
I think my parents did a good job when they picked my name. I shorten my name as "Uly Siregar" (please, spell it correctly: U-l-y, not Uli, not Ully!), as my credential for my published writings.
But, somehow in America is very common to change maiden name when you get married. Especially for me as a foreigner married with an American. Being Miss Siregar is a little bit complicated than being Mrs. Skiera. Everytime I pick up medicine at the pharmacy, I have to mention "Siregar" at least twice or even more, because they just don’t get it. It’s frustrating. Maybe my lousy English, or maybe Americans are not familiar with names other than western names. It’s also easier to have the same name with your spouse for joint assets… they say it’s more convincing.
So, when I applied for permanent resident card (Green Card), I decided to change my maiden name. Besides, my husband wanted her wife to have the same last name as his as a family.
I am a feminist, now turn into ’subordinate’?
Not really. It’s about making life simpler. I still feel, act, and work as "Uly Siregar". Everytime I write for newspaper in Indonesia, I put my name as "Uly Siregar". I’m planning to use "Uly Siregar" as my credential if I work for any publication in USA.
Indonesia is a better place to keep your given name. You might be known as–lets say, Mrs. Siregar, because you’re married with Mr. Siregar–but there’s no way you have documents with your husband’s last name. It really is a good thing. A woman supposed to be recognized from her given name, not from her husband’s name!
Imagine, in America, even it’s not mandatory, you change your name when you get married, but then you have to give up your husband’s last name when you get divorced!
See, being American is not that easy. I don’t like to give up my maiden name for the sake of immigration documents, but I just did.
Ester Retta Uly Skiera (a.k.a Ester Retta Uly Siregar. DUH!)
I didnt want to give up my maiden name either, I urged INS, DMV, Indonesian Consulate, Social Socurity, Bank, Credit Card company and etc to keep it. Finally they granted my wish but also added my hubby’s last name.. so my name is Susan Lubron Malkind.. Im still proud being “Lubron” and never want to ‘delete’ it ever ! ehhehehhehe kekeuhhhh kan… Before they issue any paper, card, statement or whatever, i always tell them clearly not to forget to put Lubron and i dont want just initial “L” , i want a full name hehehehehhe .. I feel sorry for all those people who had to deal with me regarding this maiden name issue hehehehhe
I have to use my husband name and terpaksa gave up with my maiden name when I apply for INS, SSN, Bank etc, and yang paling penting for insurance, since my insurance still depend on my husband office so mau nggak mau deh ah …..
Sighs… I don’t like to give up my maiden name… but I already did. So, I better live with it, kan?? Hehehe… Lagian nama gue kepanjangan.. Mau pilih nyimpen Siregar, nama di depannya harus dipangkas. Enak juga kali punya nama simpel kayak Susan!!
mbak, numpang nimbrung boleh ya…
ga bisa ya namanya jadi Siregar-Skiera? apa itu cuma bisa dibuat nama sang anak dari pasangan Siregar dan Skiera? saya curious saja karena saya jg merit dgn caucasian (a.k.a. arab) dan ga pernah masang nama suami, mulai dari paspor, pendaftaran di konjen, college enrollment, insurance, bank account, etc. cuma nama di KK aja di Indo yg ada embel2nya krn kata bokap org kelurahan musti ikut instruksi. weleh…